so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
