There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
