singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
