Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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