How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
