dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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