I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Enjoy the penises
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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