whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
