Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
