you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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