ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
