Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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