in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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