And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
