Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
