I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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