you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
