ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
