i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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