It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
