Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
