yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
