it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
