We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize