we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
