The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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