oh god the rape fog is back!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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