dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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