Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
