hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize