I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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