i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
