if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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