You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am spending my child support on dildos
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
