be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
