I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I still have a little drunk in my system
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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