Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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