i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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