im drinking this country out of the recession.
Your dad touched me again.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize