So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize