Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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