It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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