oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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