i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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