apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
