I'd wear matching sweaters with you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
