So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
