Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
