The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
