you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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