you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
