Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
