I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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