i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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