You made me cry and you don't even care
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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