Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Every concussion has its silver lining
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
