remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
smell my finger.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
