Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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