exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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